So, the Liberals lost the election here in Canada. We now have a Conservative government. What does that mean, exactly? Why, it means that we don't have to register our guns, worry about men marrying other men, or pesky international missiles buzzing over our igloos.

Stephen Harper, the new Prime Minister, is Bush's long lost brother, seperated at birth. Like his brother, Mr. Harper thrives on three things; War, Guns, and the Bible. Now that they each contibute an IQ of 25, we'll have the smartest leaders in North America. They can both get drunk off their asses and ram their cars into trees, and think of new countries to plunder. And lets not forget that, Bush likes to be a part of everyone's life - he must - because he likes tapping your phones, monitoring your credit cards, and knowing what steamy Harlequin all you horny housewives happen to be reading. It's just like having the President and Prime Minister as your two gay dads!

On a positive note, that means I can use my AK-47 to destroy the stem - cell research lab downtown, then cozy up on the couch to read more Psalms! And, as long as I tell them both that I played sucha mission in Grand Theft Auto, I'll get away scot-free!